Monday's Musings from the Porch Swing

I have been thinking about family relationships a lot over the last week.  Many families are so distant in their relationships from one another.  Too much time may be spent running too and fro for some families.  Other families may not know how to talk to each other.  Then there are others who haven't spoken to family members in years due to hurt feelings or other problems from the past.  I'm sure there are still other things I didn't mention that your family or some family you know has to deal with that keeps them from being close to their family .  I've decided the best place for me to start working on my family relationships is with prayer.  I am going to ask God to show me what I should do on my end and also to help us to resolve any problems standing in the way to a better relationship.  It is important to me that I not only ask Him to show me, but to pay attention to what He shows me.  He has already been showing me not to let the little things get to me.  Often someone will say or do something small and I get hurt or mad about it.  Instead I need to realize that maybe the other person didn't mean any harm in what they said or did, and even if they did I should be the more mature one and let it roll off my back.

In this day and time it is becoming increasingly important for me to have a good relationship with family, not only close and extended family, but in-laws too.  I feel that if we want our children to love others and love their enemies too that Buzzard and I need to show them the love we have for all of our family.  I do realize that there are some people that we personally may love, but still are not willing to spend time with due to things beyond our control, but God can make a way for all things.  We just have to pray and be patient and also realize we are only human and don't think the way God does. After all is said and done something in from the past may still keep us from as close a realationship with that person as the ones we are hoping to build with other members of our family.  In the end I believe if we desire these things it has to start with us.

Use it up; wear it out; make it do or do without! - L Reid

"Use it up; wear it out; make it do or do without!" - L Reid

This was a popular motto during the Great Depression, but as times got better many people left behind this way of living.  People over the years have become consumerist.  Many think if they want something and have the money to get it or the credit available they deserve it.  Their homes are crowded with clutter that they may not even use, much less realize what is there.  We are bombarded with ads on television, the internet, and in the paper.  We feel guilty because we don't spend enough time with our children, so we buy them things. We have a bad day so we go to the mall and buy ourselves something.  We need to get away from this frame of mind and remember all that we have the Lord has blessed us with.  Leave the television off, get rid of the newspaper subscription, and use an add blocker on your internet browser if you are tempted by all the ads and commercials you see daily.  Spend time with the Lord and your family when you've had a bad day.

Times are tough right now and many fear we will sink into another Great Depression.  How can we get back to the days when it was more important to appreciate and wisely use what God blessed us with?   You can search the internet and see how other households are putting this motto into effect in their homes then try those ideas out in your own home.  I know I get excited when I search the web and see families canning the bounty from their gardens, making their own jellies and jams, taking old pieces of furniture and making something new, or sewing their own clothes.  The list goes on and on.  It is helpful to see what others are doing, because it can inspire us, but it can also overwhelm us and leave us feeling guilty.  We may like the idea of canning, so we start a garden and look forward to a plentiful harvest.  We don't end up with the time to care for the garden and it becomes overgrown with weeds; we may feel downtrodden by the fact that we didn't get to can like others did.  Like anything in our lives we first need to pray for God's guidance.  Only He knows what tomorrow holds and what we are truly capable of doing.  Maybe this is not the year for you to grow a garden, but a friend from church offers to show you how she takes scraps and makes beautiful skirts for her daughters.  God wants us to take care of our families and wisely use our blessings;  He will surely guide us as to how we are to "Use it up; wear it out; make it do or do without!"

 

We Tend to be Hardest on Ourselves

I was going through my bookmarks today and sorting them into better folders when I came upon this one at Cup of Grace and knew I needed to share it with my readers.  She did such a good job writing this.

Do We Pester?

I search the web for information to provide what I hope is the best for my family.  Sometimes when I find something and share it with my spouse he isn't inthusiastic about it and says he doesn't agree wtih it.  I'm sure many of you have been in this situation.  If this happens and we try to tell him more about this new idea a few times are we going against his authority of saying no it's not a good idea and pestering him hoping he will give in or are we just trying to fill him in on this new information?  Is it possible that we feel we are just trying to explain to him our point of view and he feels that we are pestering him to get him to let us have what we desire?  If he does feel this way then how to we get him to listen to us in situations like this without coming off as a pest?  We want to do the right thing and honor him and love him the way the Lord says we should.

How We Speak About our Husbands and Husbands of Others

We women often hear that we shouldn't talk to people about issues we have with our husbands, but how often have you heard you shouldn't give another woman advice about her own husband?  Have you been told that you don't have the right to make bad comments about another woman's husband?  I have not read or been told this but it has weighed on my heart.  You see one night I was talking to a really close friend and I was upset with something her husband had done, so I made a derogatory comment about him to her.  She got real quiet.  After hanging up the phone God began to work on me; letting me know that what I had done was wrong and that I should apologize.  It was too late to call her back, so I had to wait and carry the guilt of what I had done till the next time I could get ahold of her.  Once I had told her that I was sorry for saying that about her husband the burden was lifted from me.  I have now learned that along with not talking bad about our own husbands we don't have the right to talk bad about other women's husbands either, even if we are talking to another woman about a friend's husband.  Not only does this make for better relationships with our friends it also keeps us from encouraging her to say bad things about her husband, which she may be more prone to do when she hears us say bad things about him.

Decision Making

Decision Making

How do you make decisions in your home?  Do you make some or all the decisions by yourself?  Do you think to turn to God to guide you in what you should do?  Do you go to your husband for help with your decisions?

I will admit I don’t always remember to ask God for guidance when making a decision, though I do try and am always working to do it more.  When I have an important decision to make it concerns my family since I am the keeper of our home.  If I have prayed about something that I think needs a decision now, but peace about what I think should be done is not there, I go to my husband with my concerns and what I think.  He may agree or disagree with me, or even tell me we should wait or that the decision is not as pressing as I had thought.

Going to my husband does not mean I am not a confident woman or that I can’t hear God’s leading.  It does mean that I am upholding the Biblical standard and confident in God and the husband He provided me with.  This in turn makes me a strong and confident woman and in turn make our family unit stronger, by setting a good example for our children.   We work together, but my husband is head of the household just like God intended.  I should depend on him to help me with things I am unsure of.  He too will come to me; in this way we work together as a team.  Don’t just wing it next time you are not sure what should be the answer to something you need to do or something you have been contemplating.  First, try to remember to pray then go to your husband.

How can you be a helpmeet?

Helpmeet

How do you go about being a good helpmeet? If you have children like we do this can sometimes be hard. What I mean is; as a mom we have a tendency to put our children first, but this is not the way it should be. In the order of our priorities and responsibilities God is first, then our spouses, then the children, then others. What you may be asking; I thought we had a responsibility to help others. We do, but we also have a responsibility to help our family. If we have a wonderful relationship with God, then we will be able to be a better wife, mother, and so forth. If we in turn dedicate ourselves to being a good helpmeet, our homes will function better and we will be in a better position to help others. Just remember we have to get right with God to begin with, this does not mean we will be perfect, that will only happen when we get to Heaven. What it does mean is that we do our best by continuing to pray and spend time with the Lord daily and do what He ask of us. Our very next concern as I mentioned before is our spouses. We need to listen to them, respect them, have patience, help them, and say we are sorry when we are wrong. Don’t let your pride get in the way of doing these things. We were created to be his helper.

If you are new to looking at your marriage this way it will probably be a big adjustment for both you and your husband, but in the long run, since you are following God’s plan for marriage, it will be better than if you had just done your own thing. This will not happen overnight and you will mess up plenty of times, like the rest of us do, but God is faithful in helping us to follow His plans for us. Don’t be too hard on yourself, ask God for forgiveness and forgive yourself, spend time with the Lord meditating and reading His word. I have found that having like minded Christian girlfriend and reading blogs of like minded Christians is helpful, as well as studying some of the good Women’s Bible study books on the market that have been written for this purpose.

Gardening

Gardening

Over the weekend Buzzard started the garden. His dad and his brother came over to help him till up the ground. It is going to be a family garden since our family lives close by. The next day Buzzard began planting. He drew out his plan on paper after watching some experienced gardeners on Youtube. I plan to keep this paper in our household binder, so that we can make any changes to this plan for next years garden.

Working with your husband not against him

Buzzard is redoing our bathroom to make it easier for me to use with my disability.   The other day we went to pick out tile for the shower. We went to two separate stores.  Neither of which had a big selection.  I was disappointed at first and couldn't seem to find anything that we agreed on.  You see our bathroom is kind of small so Buzzard do not want to do really dark tile, but every one I like was too dark.   I begin to get frustrated and wished that there was more selection, but I said a little prayer and ask God to help me with this. I knew I needed to make a compromise, so I decided maybe I can have my cake and eat it too.  I wasn't trying to be selfish I was trying to work things out.  I had Buzzard get the one he liked and I picked up the one I like and put them side-by-side, then I had him lay out a pattern using the two tiles that we liked and some that went with both from their own sets. This actually worked out very well.  I must say it was interesting watching people walk by and look at him down on the floor laying out the pattern as I was telling him what I wanted.  I did this because he wanted it to be special for me.  You may wonder just what I'm getting at;  I am trying to learn to be a more submissive wife without becoming a welcome mat.  My prayers and working out a compromise made him happy and in return I was happy too.

Being Discerning When Reading

I am a professed book worm. I have a very long list of books that I would like to read. This list would be much longer if I took every suggestion I come across for books to read. I don't do this though, because as a Christian woman is very important to me to be discerning in what I choose to read. Some things I may find offensive, other things are just not my cup of tea, and still others are of a subject matter that the Lord has led me to know that I should not be reading. Over the years I have become more discerning and will probably do so more and more as I grow as a Christian.

Do yourself just read what ever the popular crowd is reading or do you pick and choose? How do you make these decisions? Do you make them based on your lifestyle and what you believe is true and right, or do you choose just according to what looks good?

One thing that I require in books that I read is that they make me stop and think, or they teach me something new. I don't like to waste my time on books that one might read just to be reading. The time I get to spend reading is precious and I looked at it as such. The book lists that I now have has been revised twice already to get rid of books that would be a waste of my time to read. Now do not get me wrong I would not go and look at someone else's list and say they were wasting their time in what they have chosen to read. Each person has to make those choices for themselves, hopefully with the Lord's leading.

Are we thankful in all God does?

When we have a problem we usually go to the Lord in prayer, but how often do we go to the Lord in prayer of praise when something good happens and He blesses us with things that we need. We're all guilty of this, but it is something I myself am trying to work on. I bring up this subject, because this weekend we were very blessed. My husband had been wanting a piano for a long time and we have been living meagerly in the way of furniture. This has been resolved; a close friend of ours had moved from one state to another and had excess furniture. While he was going through his house he realized he didn't use the piano he had purchased many years ago. When he told my husband how we would get the furniture to our house my husband teasingly told him to put the piano on the trailer too. Our friend then replied that he would do that. My husband thought he was joking, but he assured my husband that he was not. After everything was brought into the house I thanked the Lord for His multiple blessings. I had never even asked for a piano, but I do believe that our littlest one will be using it in the near future. We believe she has been given the gift of music and we want to teach her how to use that gift to honor the Lord. When things go well for you this year try to make it a point to thank the Lord for these blessings. He provides for us in more ways than we can possibly imagine, but if we pay attention we can see more blessings than we have noticed in the past.